It makes me angry that you purposely post things like you’re being sly and nobody see it. But you know I see it and you know it hurts me. So much for being sorry.
August 2010
Sometimes I feel like people put too much faith in me. People need to realize that I’m only one person and I can’t carry the world on my shoulders. I’m only human. I have never tried to be anything but human. I will never try to be anything but human.
Maybe I’m the one who puts too much faith in my human self when I think I can fix everything.
I can't help what I dream
and that’s the truth.
Day Ten
I would drop everything and start completely new again if I could be in a van and make music and tour forever.
Day nine (we're almost done!)
1. c: this smiley always describes my life
2. |: idgaf
Day Eight
1. Nice eyes.
2. Being able to throw out cheesy pickup lines
3. Chest tattoos
hey you,
grow up.
Kthnx c:
Day Seven
1. Ignorance.
2. Lack of competency.
3. Lack of grammar skills.
4. Chewing loudly/with your mouth open.
Day Six
1. Shelby
2. My Mom
3. Holly
4. Kelly
5. Allison
Day Five
1. I never should have let you leave without telling you how I felt.
2. I never should have let you take advantage of me.
3. I never should have led you on.
4. I never should have talked to you because now I live in constant fear that you’re going to ruin my life. Or kill me. Whichever comes first.
5. I never should have doubted myself.
6. I never should have let myself fall for you so terribly.
Day Four
1. How in the hell am I going to make The Dash happen?
2. Where I will be in the next ten years and if it’s where I want to be now.
3. My irrational fears.
4. I need to get a job so I can start saving money.
5. How I am going to tell you what I need to tell you?
6. How I want to leave and just forego college to live in a van with Shelby so we can find our oddities.
7. I need to talk to Trevor soon so we can start guitar lessons.
Day Three *edit lolz*
1. Sing me really cheesy love songs outside of my window at night.
2. Reassure and calm me when I get nervous or have panic attacks by holding my hand or putting your arm around me.
3. Shamelessly dance with me in public.
4. Actually talk to me and have deep conversations with me. I want to get to know who you are and I want you to know who I am.
5. Have patience with me and try to understand that I go slower than most snails in relationships and when it comes to learning to trust people.
6. Embrace my dreams with me and encourage me.
7. Learn to love my friends as much as I do and respect the fact that I will want to have space. I don’t need you to be leashed to me to know that you care.
8. Accept the fact that when I say I want to sleep with you, I mean actually sleeping together in a bed or napping on a couch and not sex.
Day Two
1. Music and writing are very important to me; more important than any other thing that has come before them and more important than anything that will come after them.
2. I have a massive phobia of men and crowds that give me panic attacks.
3. I have possibly some of the best people in existance to call my friends.
4. I hold grudges way too easily.
5. I’m a hypocrite
6. I write things that I don’t like about myself on my feet as reminders to myself that I want to change the bad things about me and be a better person.
7. I need to be needed.
8. I believe that I’m going to change the world.
9. I fear being alone and not finding someone who will love me yet I hold hope that one day it will happen.
day ten
1. I love you. A lot. I’m really excited to imagine about where we will be in the next decade. I look forward to every single disgustingly hot, sweaty, uncomfortable moment of living in a van with you and the other oddities that will fit with us perfectly while touring and trying to make something of ourselves.
2. I hate you so I don’t have to hate myself. Sorry I’m putting all the blame on you when deep down I know I have no one to blame but myself. Please come back soon to visit, and please, please, be safe.
3. I despise you for what you did to me and I despise that even though I say that I’m okay with it, I think about what you did to me nine years ago and it still haunts me to this day and I wake up feeling just as terrible about it as I did the day before. I live for the day I rise above it and I can shove it in your face.
4. I’m really sorry when I question you but it’s hard to accept your words when I know what my gut is telling me. I’m terrified that I’m going to lose you as a friend. I’m so sorry that it’s going to be like this and I will never stop apologizing to you for it….If you hate me, I don’t blame you and I won’t hold it against you. Promise. But I do hope that one day, you’ll forgive me and love me again because I will always love you, wherever I go; if anywhere.
5. I hope that you will hold her up when I’m not there to, even though I don’t like you and wish that you had never happened. I’m going to let her down and it kills me and all I can do is pray that you will be there because soon, I’m not going to be there… Sorry for putting all the pressure on you, kid.
6. Baby squirell, I love you. I love going to the beach with you and buying your boyfriend things from Virginia beach when he obviously hates Virginia beach. I’m really excited for thursday!
7. I’m putting my dreams in your hands
8. I’m putting my faith in your voice
9. I’m putting my desires in your hands
10. I’m putting my future in your hands and feet.
This is me not doing AP work
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
