I want to scream.
Really, really loudly.
So loudly that everyone on the entire planet hears me.
But then I realize something.
Something very silly.
I don’t want to be noticed.
By anyone, really.
Except for you.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU?!
I’ve spent too many nights lying awake in my bed just staring at the ceiling wondering why I do the things I do and I often wonder if:
-I’ll actually be able to accomplish my dreams
-Seventeen year old me will hate who twenty seven year old me has become
-We will ever be friends like we were in the eighth grade
-I can overcome the personal demon that’s had me shackled to the ground with so much fear and anxiety that I don’t even know what to do with myself
-I’ll ever meet the boy who completely understands me
-I will be able to reach a state of contentment within myself
-I will be able to change the world.
If I could, I would carry the world on my shoulders, sea and all. I want to carry it all on my back so nobody else has to. Some people say that one person simply cannot make a huge difference but it happens all the time. I want to make that huge difference. The world is so sick and so downright polluted that people don’t even know what to do with themselves. We live in our petty houses and live out our meager existances while trying to find a reason to give ourselves worth. We spend our time waging wars and holding guns when we should be holding hands with one another. We don’t care about the homeless man on the side of the road clutching a sign begging for pennies as we sit in our cozy cars. We are all made of the same thing and yet, we are terrified of each other and we become enwrapped in things like which celebrity is so and so dating when we should be enwrapped with the millions of poverty stricken people around the world like Africa where they walk miles a day for water that is filled with parasites and disease. They walk for MILES just for water that is going to poison them and make them sick while we take showers daily and we can even adjust the temperature to exactly how we like it. It’s ridiculous. We’re ridiculous.
And sadly, I’m no different. I wish I could carry the Earth on my shoulders but I have to learn how to carry my own baggage before I can think of carrying the world.
that you would give up going to the college that you once would have done anything to get into to stay here and write music with me. You have absolutely no idea how much that means to me and I look forward to the day when we will look back and know that it was all completely worth it.
Thank you. So much.